Emotions. Emotions! EMOTIONS!! What a lethal combination: cancer and feelings.
Why?
After learning the devastating news that you have cancer, you have to deal with your feelings and those of those close to you. It can be too much! In addition, it’s a lot of pressure.
First, there is a shortage of material on coping with cancer-related emotions. You don’t want to add to the stress in your life right now because of the toll it takes on your immune system.
And then, where do you even begin?
Let us begin at the very beginning. The subconscious is where all of your feelings and emotions are stored. Take charge of this aspect of yourself, or it will wreak havoc on your life.
First, you need to understand that different feelings fall on a spectrum. Next, you need to master the art of self-regulation. Finally, you should be familiar with climbing the emotional ladder.
Happiness and love at one end of the spectrum, and terror, loss, and despair at the other.
Feelings are a part of everything we encounter. Every single encounter doesn’t trigger every single human emotion. Each person’s life is unique. And because we’re all unique, our responses vary. Neither make your responses to the exact situations always remain the same.
Today you might go through anything and respond by completely losing it. You will be able to face the same situation tomorrow without any emotional response. This doesn’t always indicate that you’ve taken something valuable away from the day before. Perhaps you didn’t. It’s possible that you’re too exhausted to respond or that you’ve lost interest.
Where do you want to be emotionally regarding your cancer? Do you agree that this is an absurd inquiry? Nonetheless, it does confirm that very few people have ever given this issue any thought.
Here’s some cancer knowledge for you: you can’t climb the cancer scale of emotions if you don’t know it exists. Because without a goal in sight, success is impossible to achieve.
Here’s a shocking fact about cancer: I can now declare unequivocally that I am glad I had it. You may be wondering how that is even feasible. Well, let’s put it this way. Having cancer has taught me so much about who I am.
I realized my bravery. What I’ve learned is that I can direct my attention and energy toward the future outcomes I desire. Finally, I realized that I possessed moral fortitude.
I had no idea that I possessed such characteristics. I had lingering emotional problems like low self-esteem, if you haven’t realized it before.
My true potential was always hidden from me. So when the cancer ‘test’ arose, I pledged to myself to pass it. And I did win the battle. That’s something I’ve realized about myself. I realized that I had the strength to stand tall, make a choice, and achieve my goals.
Having cancer wholly altered my perspective on life. Yet, you should know that this turned out for the best. Without cancer, I would still be a stationary “walking generality.”
Cancer, however, unintentionally provided me with focus. This is something I can finally say.
The situation wasn’t always this way, though. I started at the very bottom of the emotional spectrum with depression. I picked myself up and am pleased with the outcome in the end. I’m grateful because I’ve learned so much about life and myself due to my cancer journey.
Do I sound like I’d choose to go through cancer treatment all over again? An emphatic “NO!” to that! Sorry, but that was enough for me. The first time around with cancer taught me a lot.
No one taught us how to deal with our moods and emotions healthily. It’s fair to say that our parents and teachers were the primary sources of this information. But, as a result of these traumatic events, many of us learned to repress our emotions as adults.
It would be best if you felt even better about everything that has happened to you. And to hold on to this new frame of reference until you can upgrade to a more positive emotion. Take note that I didn’t state our goal is to help you feel better about having cancer right now. That is still to come.
What, if anything, about yourself, have you discovered during your battle with cancer? Is there a more straightforward path forward now that you’ve had this experience? Revised meaning? What life lessons have you learned from your cancer experience?
The fact that you’re feeling better is directly related to you. It is impossible to influence other individuals. So, dealing with the feelings of those close to you might be more taxing than dealing with your own. This is made more challenging because you cannot control the beliefs of those around you.
Use this as an example. My family and friends begged my wife, Barbara, to reassure them that I would be fine after hearing that I had cancer. Please take note that nobody ever requested me to do this.
People tend to go to the most emotionally stable family member during times of crisis. Relatives looked to Barbara for solace and support because she was seen as the most resilient among us.
But they did this without thinking about whether or not Barbara needed help. Having a loved one diagnosed with cancer is a sad discovery.
Unfortunately, not everyone is in a position to help others who genuinely require assistance. Some people have trouble being upbeat or even neutral. However, not everyone can step up when called upon. That’s too bad. Yet, alas, such is the way life can be at times. No one is faultless.
“Why can’t they…… if they just…… if they just…… if only they would…… if only they could…… Your mental anguish will increase if you continue to think this way. This line of thinking will get you nowhere. And it certainly doesn’t promote health. Just take people as they are. They’re doing their hardest.
Take into account the pain of others around you. Realize that some people won’t be able to back you up. Realize that you might have to back them up. It could be unjust. You may have trouble keeping yourself afloat on a few occasions. Not a problem. Just remember that everyone is suffering emotionally.
Share your emotions with the people around you. Send them a message of your affection. Cancer causes a lot of worry and uncertainty, but talking about it might help alleviate some of that. That applies to everyone engaged, by the way. No one wants to see you go; that much is clear. What’s worse is that nobody wants to go through it themselves.
My wife and I went through it, so we know firsthand that we are now instructing others in the art.
Be patient with everyone right now. Yes, even you. Be kind to yourself and others. Get wisdom from your mistakes. Accept the education. And remember that the people who surround you genuinely care about you. They have flaws, yet you can feel their love.
Michael Mihalcic has battled cancer and repeatedly returned from the brink of death. Michael and Barbara King, his wife, have devoted the last decade and a half to studying complementary and alternative medicine. If you want to know how Michael overcame cancer and how you can, too, please visit.
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